A MAKEOVER...JUST FOR FUN!

I went to Dr. Jackson today for a follow-up to my surgery last Friday and all is well!  My incisions are healing real good and he says I'm looking good and he'll check them again in six weeks (although I'll see him again on Dec. 22 for another surgery to reconstruct some nipples).  I can quit wearing this bulky, binding surgical bra (yay, although I still like the support at bedtime....my muscle is still real tight and can begin to get uncomfortabe if I go braless for very long).  I can go get fitted for a bra next week at the Hospital gift shop.  He wrote me a prescription for it.  Did you realize you could get a prescription for a bra?  lol!  Yep, if you want the insurance to pay for it, you have to have a prescription for it...just like a wig!  My insurance will pay for two bras a year and I wanted to get my two in for this year before the end of the year, but needed his approval!  My breasts are still changing, but I'm eager to see what size I'll actually be now.  I never knew I'd look this forward to getting a bra....lol!....kinda like when I was 13, I guess!  And, if I ocassionally don't want to wear a bra....I don't have to!  :=)  I'm coming along and think I'll be really pleased in the end.  I'm not displeased now!  And I am now an OFFICIAL "card carrier"!

Did you know that you get this card when you get implants?  I didn't either.....this journey just has all kinds of surprises!  I knew that each implant is numbered, but never realized I'd have a card with those numbers on the back of it, along with the type of implants I have.  So, now I'm officially fake...lol!  I belong to the "card carrying club".

After I left his office I stopped by Target to see if they had any of the shelf elves...nope...sold out.  :=(  But, then I was drawn to the women's department to look for a new top.  I wanted to try something on that would be more fitted than I used to be able to wear....maybe even a little sexy...something to show my new body off...lol!  Not for anyone else...but for ME!  Just something to make me feel very feminine!   Funny how important that is to you after going through this!  It's actually more important to me than I realized it would be.  I almost just went "flat" with no reconstruction and can honestly say now that I'm glad I didn't and chose to go ahead with the reconstruction!   Dr. Zusan encouraged me....she didn't pressure me....but she encouraged me and said I was still young and thought I'd be happy getting it done. She was right!  I didn't think it mattered to me that much, but I guess in the end....it did!  I did find two tops and I'll show them to you...another day!  Gotta set up a photo shoot with my photographer....lol!

No, this was not the Target dressing room, but when I searched for pics of one, I found this and it cracked me up that a sign like this would even be necessary....eewwww!  Who would do that????

And it was just FUN to try on clothes that I never could have even LOOKED at and considered getting into before!  I am not used to going to the regular section for womens' clothing and want to gravitate to the "Plus Sizes" and then realize I don't need that any longer!  I have to retrain myself how to shop for clothing!  I actually got in a size 16 jeans today....after wearing size 20!  None of my old clothes fit me anymore....even the tops hang off of my shouders! 

A very sweet lady was sitting outside of the dressing room and she and the sales clerk were giving me their opinions.  I explained to them why I was wanting something a little fitted...something revealing (not that revealing!  I'm kinda a conservative kinda gal)....something extra feminine....maybe something to wear out on New Year's Eve....and they joined in with the fun!  I told them I felt like one of those ladies you see on a tv show that gets a makeover.  Then I got to thinking....I ought to put some pictures together of "before" and "after" to show you what I mean (even though it means showing you some pretty unflattering pictures)!  Some of you know me and know what I looked like before....but some of you have never met me.  So, I took some pics from last year and put them with pictures from this year....hope you enjoy seeing the difference the weight loss has made!

 

Now, I would have never ever wanted to lose weight this way, but now that I did lose it....I feel better about the way I look, I find it more fun to shop for clothes, and I feel better physically!

I wasn't always heavy.  As a matter of fact, I grew up being called "skinny minny" as a teenager.  I remember how embarrassed that made me, but after going the "other way", I would have loved being called "skinny minny" again!  I even stayed relatively thin after my children were born.....but then something happened!  :=(

Now, here's a blast from the past...lol!  Oh my, look at me and Larry....were we really ever that young?  And, look, I pretty much had no boobs back then...lol!  I was probaby 18 or 19 here....and in my "Cher" days...lol!  But, there's the proof...I wasn't always heavy!

This "before" picture was maybe two years ago....the summer before mom passed away.

Same swimsuit!  As you can see, I filled it out lots more in the "before" picture.  I had to pull it over and pin it in the "after" picture!  Can't wait to buy a new one next summer!  I've lost weight all over.  I know many women want their breasts to be LARGER...not me!  I'm happy to have smaller ones!

The "before" picture was taken after my mom's funeral last year.  I think of her so much and think how much she'd like my "new look".  She wouldn't like how I got here, but she'd like me wearing make-up and jewelry now and I even think she'd like my hair shorter!  I often think of mom when I'm putting on my make-up...she always made herself up to look nice, so I know she'd be happy that I am finally doing that again.  I guess I just stopped caring about all of that because I didn't like my body image.

These pictures really show how much I've change, I think.  I am even thin enough to be a scarecrow now...lol!

Here I am with two of my grandchildren...Luke and Abby.  As you can see, I have even lost weight in my face, my neck, my shoulders....actually everywhere!

That was kind of fun...for me anyway.  lol!  Now, please don't think I'm a vain person...because I'm so NOT that!  Never have been.  But, I'm enjoying my "new look".  That's not so bad, is it?  I'm going to try real hard to keep it off and as a matter of fact, I need to lose more.  I still have that annoying tummy fat!  Now, it's not nearly as much as it used to be....but it needs to go away completely!!!  Belly fat is not healthy!  Dr. Jackson said it's ok to start on the treadmill again and I am going to try doing sit-ups and we'll see what that does for me!  After two years of grief and pain and health problems....I am glad to be happier again.  God has healed me physically, spiritually, and emotionally.  I praise Him for that!  I never imagined my healing would come through cancer, but God got me thru it and I feel better on the "other side" than I have in years!

Please don't think I'm trying to glorify cancer as a road to "looking better"....not at all!  But, I am trying to show how there is "life after cancer" and how you can move past it and be happy....even happier than you were before.  Don't let a cancer diagnosis rob you...fight it with everything you've got!  Looking better and feeling better is my way of letting that cancer know it didn't win!!!!!!  It was a long battle, but looking back on it, I would not have changed this year.  At some point maybe I'll wake up and not think of cancer for a day.  But, I don't want to ever  forget my journey.....God has given me a mission to be here for others who find themselves taking this same journey. 

Until next time, what needs a "makeover" in your life?  It may be something physical, something emotional, or even something spiritual....or, like me, maybe it is all three!  Maybe there's some changes you need to make in your life....maybe you need to forgive someone....maybe you need to ask someone else to forgive you....whatever it is, do it NOW because life is too short to be unhappy!   God can do anything....He can restore your Joy....He knows the desires of your heart!  Turn your heart over to Him and let Him do a work in you!  :=)  I could have never dreamed at this time last year that I'd be where I am today!

Praise God!  Cindy

CANCER SISTERS MEET AGAIN!!!

I'm keeping that road between Seymour and Greenwood "hot" these days!  Today I went up there to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch with my "cancer sisters".

I just love these girls!!  We met back in April and have bonded as the "cancer sisters" and have all watched each other go through the "journey".  Carin (on the left) is the oldest of us, but she won't say how old she is.....but, considering I'm 59, well....I'd say she's holding up real well, wouldn't you?  :=)  I hope I look that good when I get to her age....oh, who am I kidding?  Carin had just finished up her chemo the last time we met and was still bald....but, wow, look at her hair now!!!!   Carin is not only the oldest of the group...she's the ornery one (yes, Carin, I'm pretty sure I spelled ornery correctly, but if not...let me know...lol) Amy, lovely sweet Amy, is on the right.  She has such a sweet spirit about her.  Her 16 year old daughter, Erin, joined us for lunch today.  I have an Erin too!  Poor thing..she had to listen to our "boob talk"...lol! 

We are like our own little "support group".  We all have the same plastic surgeon....Dr. Jackson...and we all had the bilateral masectomy with immediate reconstruction with the tissue expanders.  We can soooo relate to each other!  Like when I say I feel my breasts each morning to see if they are softening up....Carin pipes up that she feels her's every night!!!  It makes us feel more "normal" to have each other...lol!  We all now have our implants....me being the last one to get them.  I was able to ask them questions since they are a little ahead of me.  It so helps to hear from someone who's "been there, done that"!  Carin is still receiving treatment for her cancer, while Amy and I are finished with the treatment, except for the Arimidex we both take for the next 5 years.  We are SURVIVORS!!!

Whoooohoooo, you go Carin!!!  Isn't she lovely?  I'm going to have to learn to pose like her!!!  I wonder how my photographer, Sheila, will feel about that...lol...especially when I do the spectacular nudie pose that Carin showed us!  lol! 

This is only my second time to be with them and I'm beginning to know their personalities more....I call Carin the "naughty one".  lol!  She has a sense of humor that I can relate to!  I'm learning I'm going to have to "stay on my toes" when I am with her....you never know what she's going to say!  I can take it...I warned her that I can dish it out too...lol!  Now, Amy, on the other hand...I call her the "sweet one".  She is just precious and sweet and all that!  It's Carin that I have to look out for!!!  I think our personalities compliment each other....and I'm a believer that God has brought us together for His purpose.  We don't live in the same town....we are different ages...in different seasons of life....and would have never met if it hadn't been for "that diagnosis"....and now we are lifelong friends...not just friends...we are sisters!

After what we've been through we aren't afraid to pose or talk boob-talk right there in a restaurant!  Now that I'm home, I'm wondering if our waiter picked up on our conversation...lol!  We talk non-stop....even the table of women sitting next to us joined in with us!  I think others can tell we're having a good time and have a special bond.  I like to think we have a "heavenly glow" surrounding us...lol! 

I had a great time today and plan to interview both Amy and Carin about their cancers and feature them on my blog soon.  Each one of us had "different cancers" and "different treatments", but we all understand the journey we each took.  I want them to share "their stories" with you!  They are amazing and brave women!

Until next time....go have lunch with your girlfriends/sisters this Christmas Season! 

Cindy

A special note to Linda!

Linda, we missed you today....both girls were dissappointed you couldn't be there (me too!)...next time, girly!  We already set the date!  :=)  Hope you're feeling better!



DROP AND FLUFF!

Well, there's a new idea for ya....drop and fluff!  Who would have guessed that my breasts will still need to "drop and fluff".  lol! 

Now, my Plastic Surgeon hasn't mentioned anything to me about "drop and fluff", but I had heard it mentioned by other women who had reconstruction done.  I don't totally understand it, so I've been visiting my friend "google" tonight...lol!  I've been looking at nudie pictures of women who had this done and so many of them look like big round balls...not natural looking to me.  Maybe I just forget what mine looked like before they went south.  I could find before and after pics, but could not find some from the day of the "exchange surgery" to the "big drop and fluff"!  I guess I'll be taking my own pictures to help someone else out in the future!  I'm a visual kinda gal!

I have to admit, I'm not totally pleased with my new ta-tas yet.  I don't feel horrible about them, but one seems to be larger than the other (and higher).  I think part of that problem is swelling where the port was....that is right above the implant.  So, hopefully as the swelling goes down it will take care of itself.  And there's too much loose skin.  And they actually aren't as soft as I expected.  Now, that being said, I'm trying not to spaz out about it and they are definately better than those old hard expanders.  But, I do still feel quite a bit of tightness.

As I've been reading tonight, I am feeling better about them.  I think I'm understanding the "drop and fluff" better now.  From what I'm reading, the muscle that the implants are placed behind will become more relaxed and then the implants will drop down into the "pocket" and have a more natural droop.  Not the kind of droop I had before though...lol!  Believe me, that's a good thing!  They look fine in my clothes, but not much different than my expanders looked in the nude. 

One site I found explained it in simple terms for me that made sense.  I need things to be put into simple terms for me! 

OK...imagine buying a pillow that is encased in one of those shrink wrapped packages that has all the air sucked out of it so that it is a small package. Imagine what happens if you take a needle and put a small hole in the packaging. Does the pillow all of a sudden pop up to full size immediately? No...it gradually fills up and after a time it fluffs out to the full pillow size it really is. The compression of the packaging held it all in until it was stretched more.
That is what the fluffing is all about.....your implants are compressed like the pillow UNDER your muscle....the muscle has to stretch to allow the implant to FLUFF out....depending on your muscle tightness, etc depends on how long it will take you to fluff and drop. http://messageboards.makemeheal.com/breast-augmentation-implants/read-faq-here-drop-fluff-gel-implant-vid-t35289.html

So, after my research tonight, I am not so worried about it and know that this is natural.  I guess I just have to wait for my ta-tas to take "shape"!  They aren't BAD, but not what I had hoped for.  They also are not as soft as I was expecting, but I think that will come with the "fluff"...lol!  I also think they will be bigger with the dropping and fluffing.  This stuff sure is fascinating to me!

I go back for a follow up appointment with Dr. Jackson this Thursday and boy do I have a lot of questions for him!  :=)  I can't wait to see what he has to say about this "drop and fluff" stuff and the extra skin.  Maybe as it drops and fluffs it fills up that extra skin.  I know he's a real good surgeon who cares about how it will look, so I'm not really worried....just curious about things.  Oh yeah, I've also read about massaging them and even watched a video.  In that video they were moving those suckers from left to right and up and down!  Mine won't even move...lol....I think that muscle is good and tight over them!

Until next time....enjoy your preparations for Christmas but try not to stress.  Simpify things this year if you need to, so you're not overworked and just plain too tired to enjoy the holidays!

Cindy

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO SOMEONE WITH CANCER?

I am writing today about something that has been on my heart.  As someone hearing those words "you have cancer", I now have a better understanding of what a cancer patient needs to hear and wanted to share my thoughts with you.

First of all, I don't look at myself as a "victim", so I don't like to be called that.  Call me a fighter, call me a warrior, call me a survivor.....but, please don't call me a victim. 

Cancer is a part of our lives today.....unfortunately, everyone has been touched by it.  I never felt I was immune from it...actually with the past scares I've had, I felt the opposite.  No one is immune from it!  I have run into people who have let me know they don't believe they'd ever get it for various reasons...they exercise and stay in good shape, eat right, don't have any family history....but they are only kidding themselves.  Plus, this gives me the message that I must have done something wrong to cause my own cancer.  Maybe I got it because I was overweight....because I didn't exercise enough....didn't eat right.....it's like putting blame on me for my own cancer.  This is one of those things NOT to say to a cancer patient....don't make them feel like they could have prevented their cancer and it's something they did or didn't do to bring it on.  ALL OF US, no matter what WE do can get cancer.  I pray they never do, but I've never understood the thinking of "it happens to other people, not me".  I've also never understood the "why me" question.  I was always a "why not me?" type of person.  Why not me?  Am I so special that it should always happen to someone else?  We are surrounded by cancer everywhere....every day....why would I think there was something so special about me that I would never get it?  You can do everything right....and still get it.  It's a disease that strikes indiscriminatingly.  I remember having a conversation with my sister Sheila when I was diagnosed....we talked about how we never drank, never smoked, didn't do drugs, lead a pretty calm life....and we still got cancer.  No one is immune!

I found this video some time back and was waiting for just the right time to share it with you.  I found it so interesting and touching. 

On August 15, 2011, we grabbed a camera and set it up at the heart of Indianapolis. We had one question, and we wanted fifty answers. One by one, people took a leap of faith and stepped in front of our camera - not knowing what we might ask.

Here's the result of what happens when you ask fifty strangers:
"If you could say one message to someone living with cancer, what would it be?"

When I was first diagnosed I could tell people were uncomfortable with me talking about it.  I wanted to talk about it but quicky realized they were not comfortable.  I was surprised and tried to figure out why...at first it hurt.  Then I realized that it scares people.  And they don't know what to say.  I guess I was probably like that before my own diagnosis. Eventually these same people came around and realized it wasn't an instant death sentence and were a great support to me.  I think people just fear that the word "cancer" is an immediate death sentence.  Yes, it can kill you....but many people also survive it.  I made up my mind from the get-go that I was going to fight it and not give into the "death sentence" mentality.  I, thankfully, had a good prognosis, but I would have felt the same way with a bad prognosis.  There is so much medical science can do today and I was ready to do whatever it took. Plus I have my faith in God, and figured either way....live or die...I couldn't lose!  Many people have told me I'm so strong...and I guess there's some truth in that...but, in reality, you have two choices....Be Strong or Give Up.  Not to fight would have been giving too much power to the disease.

I recently had the opportunity to talk with a friend about her husband who is going through testing and waiting on the results of a biopsy of possible cancer.  At this point they don't have a confirmed diagnosis.  She was already going down what I call the "doom and gloom" road.  Even though she doesn't even know yet if her husband has cancer or what kind or stage or anything about it....she was already talking about the death rate or even if it's treated and goes into remission, it can come back.  Yes, this is true!  But, I'm a "take one day at a time" kinda gal.  Don't worry today about something that may never happen tomorrow!  Any cancer patient/survivor lives with the reality of the real possibiity of reoccurence in the future and the real possibility that it may eventually kill you.  But, you can't let that fear rob you of your quaity of life today!  I was able to talk honestly with this friend and told her not to go down the roads she was already going down in her mind....especially in front of him!  This has lead me to think about the things that a cancer patient wants to hear and what they don't want to hear.

A cancer patient wants to hear....

You can do this!

You are amazing!

You are such a fighter and so strong!

There are so many medical strides today!

More people are surviving cancer today!

I am here for you to support you!

God bless and prayers for you!

I'm so sorry you have cancer, but want to encourage you in any way!

You look beautiful bald!

You can pull off that hairdo!

You're looking good!

Oh, my aunt, brother, sister, mom or dad had cancer and are living a productive life today!
Never give up hope...there's always hope!
May I pray for/with you.

A cancer patient does not want to hear.....

The death rate of this cancer is.....

Even if it goes into remission, it can and probably will come back.

I worry so much about you.

I don't think I will ever get cancer because I take care of myself.

I'm so sorry you became a cancer victim.

Oh, you look really sick.

Oh, my aunt,brother, sister, dad, mom died of cancer.
Why does breast cancer get so much attention?
There will never be a cure because cancer brings too much money.

I know most people mean well.  I found myself surrounded by positive people who kept me "up" when I could have easily gone the other way.   They didn't treat me like I was dying.  They have meant the world to me (you know who you are!)  I always knew if I ever got cancer I didn't want the "doom and gloom" crowd around me....you know, the ones who talk among themselves about how sick you are and watch every little thing that happens as a bad sign.  Like, "she slept all day today".  Well, there are days like that, but it didn't mean I was dying!  Or, "she doesn't eat much".  Well, cancer and the treatments just kinda do that to your appetite....not to mention everything during chemo tastes like iron...but it didn't mean I was dying!  I hate it when people watch for things to worry about!  I have my doctors doing that for me!  I just wanted people to surround me with positive thoughts and love me...not decipher the "signs".  I have watched people with cancer "dying" a little every day.  I choose to "live" every day!  I've always said I'm alive until I take that last breathe....so don't have me dead before then!  I watched people in my father's home whispering about him in the other room, as he laid dying of cancer.  I told my daughters if I ever got cancer or any deadly disease...I did NOT want that scenario!  Let me live until I die!!!!  I just see too many people having someone dead before they are dead!  Yes, cancer is a bad diagnosis....one no one wants to hear!  But, don't give it the power to strip you from what life you have left!  Don't give it the power of being a "death sentence" from the moment you hear those words....not even for your loved one who is diagnosed.  Let them live until they die!  That's what I always wanted to say while my dad fought cancer.  He had too many well meaning people hovering over him telling him what to do and what not to do....I just wanted him to live his last months doing what he wanted to do!  If he wanted to be in the sun, so be it!  If he wanted to go for walks, so be it!  Don't hover over a cancer patient....let them live whatever life they have left!  Let them decide how they want to spend their days! 

I watched a dear friend of mine lose their daughter to cancer about 10 years ago....way too young (21)....and I admired them so much!  They were going through this at the same time my daddy was battling cancer.  They let her LIVE!!!  They didn't hover over her and try to protect her.  She continued to go to college and live the college life away from home.  She never gave up....they never gave up!  Yes, she died in the end.....but she lived a whole lot of life instead of just waiting to die!  I will forever be inspired by the strength and bravery of Laura Culp and her family.
 

Until next time.....live, live, live!!!!

THE UNVEILING....AND A HAIRCUT!

Today my sister, Sheila, came over and brought me breakfast.  Then after we ate, I did the unveiling....

I was instructed that I could not remove all of this gauze for 24 hours....so, I couldn't actually look at the "masterpieces" until 10:30 this morning.  Sheila was here for the unveiling with me...lol!  She actually saw "them" before me, as I took the surgical bra off and removed the gauze in front of her...but had to go to the bathroom to see myself in the mirror.  Her first words were...."Oh, Cindy, they look good"!  Music to my ears!  :=) 

She was actually talking today about doing it too....so far she had said she probaby wouldn't, but I think she's been watching me and wanted to see them "finished".  I told her she was lucky to be able to follow the progress of someone doing it and see them every step of the way....she's been my nudie photographer.  It has given her the opportunity to see exactly what takes place!  Of course she had to take new pics today!  :=)  But, I can only show you the "clothed" shots.

My hair was a mess.....yay, it's getting long enough to be a mess!  And no make-up.  But, look at those ta-tas!!!!!!

Oh, and by the way....no bra!!!!  Look at them stand right up there....lol!

Now, on my right side, there is some major swelling going on where the port was, so it makes that side look higher and larger.  I think once that swelling goes down, they will look sized better with each other.  Actually there is some overall swelling that needs to go down.  As that happens, I think they will shape up even better! 

And, there is some loose skin in a few places...particularly on my left side.  I kinda have a small "dog ear" there.  He had previously told me he'd take care of it and I think he still will.  I go get my nipples on Dec. 22 and they are made from skin....so I'm thinking he may have left that skin there to use for the nipples.  So, I do think I'll still have some "revisions".  And once the nipples are made and the areolas tattooed on.....they will really come together to look like boobs.  Have you ever seen a boob with no nipple or areola?  Yeah, you need those to make it look more like a real boob...and that will happen! 

So, all in all I am pleased, but do think some revisions will need to be made yet....I think that's pretty typical.  And omigosh, they feel sooooo much better than those hard expanders and have a much better shape.  I have actually "heard" that they will change as the swelling goes down and time goes on.  I go back to him next Thursday, so I'll have a ton of questions.  lol!  I'm glad he never minds my questions....as a matter of fact, he smiles and encourages them.  He's such a sweetie.  I have encouraged Sheila to go with me for my appointment next week and I think she wants to.  She's really giving it some thought to do this herself!  Good for her!

My incisions look good and are not very long.  They don't even hurt.  The only thing that hurts is the area where he removed the port.  That hurt really badly last night....but the pain pills help.  I lost track of time and was a little late with them.  I don't want to do that again! 

Today, I got sick....I didn't see that coming!  Sheila was here and I was sitting up with her.  I had pretty much just laid around after I got home.  Suddenly I got real hot and weak and my stomach got real queasy....I thought I was going to throw up (I didn't).  I crawled up in bed and laid down for a bit....got better.  I was so dissappointed though, as I was suppose to go to a "tea party" with my granddaughter, Abby, but had to miss it.  Then tonight my family went out to eat for Larry's birthday and I had to opt out....I was just feeling too sick to my stomach.  I'm not too worried about it, but I just wasn't expecting it.  I came home feeling great and all energetic!  But, both of the pills he prescribed me have "flushing and nausea" as side affects.  So, I am thinking the medicine has brought this on.  Last night I was itchy....not major....but an itch itch here and an itch itch there...everywhere an itch itch....lol!  I've never been allergic to any medicines, so hope I'm not going to have that problem.  Maybe it was caused by the anesthetic, which I think has left my body now....not so itchy today.

So, that's it guys....I did it!!!!!  I'll be eager for any swelling to go down so I can see the real shape of them and I'll be eager to go to him next week and see what further plans he has for me.  I am so thankful for what they can do nowadays!  I didn't think I cared whether I did this or not, but I can honestly say I'm thankful I went for it!  I think stuffing a prothesis in a bra every day would get "old".  And a bonus.....I wouldn't necessarily have to wear a bra if I have a top that might show the strap!  My sister, Kim, stopped by to check me out (lol) and she even said..."hey, you could wear a halter top again"!  lol, not sure I'll be doing that....but it's nice to know I could if I wanted to.  :=)  For now the gauze is gone, but I have to continue wearing the surgical bra....not sure how long, but I figure at least until I see him next week.  They feel so much more natural instead of feeling like a foreign object inside of me.  Much more comfortable to sleep!  They are now a part of my body!!!  :=)

You guys are the best!  You have walked this road with me and have been such an encouragement and I'll never forgot all of the support I have had.  One day this week I plan to make an entry of what NOT to say to a cancer patient....and what TO SAY!  I have learned through this that people really don't know how to react when they learn someone they know is diagnosed.  Now that I've been through it, I can give you all some insight of the kind of support a cancer patient needs.  Another day.....

Until next time......be thankful for our medical miracles of the day!  I yearn for the day when cancer is cured, but am thankful for the strides that have been made!  We are so fortunate to be living in the days we do!  :=)

Cindy

OOPs, I forgot to tell you about the haircut!  While Sheila was here, she took Larry's razor and trimmed the hair at the back of my neck.  You know how your neck gets all of this fuzzy hair on it and all.  Well, she shaved that off and evened up the back of my hair at my neck.  Looks much better!  My hair seems to be at a stage now where it's really beginning to grow a lot faster.  Sheila even said it had some wave to it where she was shaving it.....interesting...



ALL IS WELL AND MY SKINNY SELF IS BACK HOME! LOL!

I am doing very well after my  surgery!  It went fast and so far I have minimal pain.  I was wheeled into the operating room at 9:44 (I heard them note the time) and my family said they were done with me at 10:30!  Less than an hour!  Then it took me maybe an hour to wake up and once I was awake, I was wide awake and energetic!  But, my fam had run off to a store somewhere, so I couldn't leave until they came back..lol...that was ok.  I left the hospital around 12:30.  I felt so good that I told Jen it was ok for her to stop at a couple of stores....I stayed in the car while she ran in quickly.  No big deal.  I felt so good I had a hard time believing I just had surgery!

I'm glad I chose to wait and do my surgery at Community South Hospital.  The nurses are awesome there!!!!  (Not saying they aren't awesome elsewhere too, but I've just really become attached to them there and wanted to finish up where I began).  First off, I was taken to my room by the absolutely sweetest nurse who told me I was skinny!!!!  lol...seriously!  How could I not fall in love with her right then and there!  She was trying to size me up for a gown and looked at me and said, "Well, you're skinny, but tall....so I'm going to give you this gown that will be too big but will be long"!  Skinny...she used the word skinny to describe me! Music to my ears!  I looked at her and told her I loved her and gave her a big hug!  lol!  Wow, from that moment I knew it was going to be a good day....a very good day!  :=)

Shortly after that, Dr. Jackson popped in to see me and he asked if I'd like for him to remove my port!  YES, YES, YES!  Dr. Venkatesh said I could get it removed and I thought Dr. Zusan had to do it, so that would have meant getting another surgery set up with her.  I was thrilled when Dr. Jackson offered to take it out.....combining it with this surgery while I was already "out"!  Dr. Jackson is an artist....he likes to draw all over you with a marker where he will make his incisions...lol!  He cut right over the same incision that was healed up from the last time...but not nearly as long this time!  He marked where he would make the incision for the port too.  When I got awake, I tried to take a "peek" (lol) and noticed that there was no incision where the port was....only the blue marker.  I thought he forgot to take it out and felt it real quickly....no, it's gone!  He saw me awake when he was walking down the hall later and popped in and asked me if I was glad to get those hard things out!  Oh yeah!  Then he explained that he didn't make an extra incision for the port....he was able to take it out through the incision he had made for the reconstruction.  Yay!  Now, as far as soreness.....that is the ONLY area that has been hurting me since I woke up.  He mentioned to my family that it would be sore where the port came out...and he's right!  Nothing compared to the masectomy though, and he made sure I have some pain pills.  I don't necessarily feel like I need them, but I'm taking them to stay ahead of any pain.  Getting those hard expanders out really is a relief...I feel more "normal"!

Dr. Jackson forgot to snap my gown back up when he was done and

I didn't realize it when I took the picture...lol!

This lovely, young, compassionate nurse got me all ready for my surgery......the leg pump thingies, my IV, blood pressure (which by the way was excellent), temp (it was good), etc.  But, more than that, she prayed with me.  In the course of getting me ready, we were talking and I told her how blessed I had been this past year, even in the "valley" and she shared a story about her grandmother who has alzheimers and we connected on a "spiritual level".  After she got me all ready for the surgery, she asked me if I'd like for her to pray with me and I instantly let her know I'd love that.  She shut the door and said the sweetest, most awesome prayer for me.  I felt such a peace!!!  She was actually the first and only nurse who had ever offered to do that with me and I was so thankful that she felt God move her to do that!   It was so special...she was so special!  I had a total peace as I was wheeled down the hall into that cold operating room!  I was so thankful that God put me in the hands of nurse Janay!

Yes, this was taken at my last surgery when I was bald....but, that is Dr. Parker!

The last words I remember were...."You'll be going to sleep now..."...and I felt my eyes slowly closing!  It's awesome how that anesthetic works!  I also had the same anethesiologist as last time (hmmmm, did I spell that right? probably not...lol)...Dr. Parker.  I told him I got up at 5:30 and was very sleepy...so it shouldn't take me long to go to sleep...lol!  I told him he was a very important man....putting me to sleep...and he reminded me that he was also very important because he was also the one to wake me up...oh yeah, that is VERY IMPORTANT...lol!

I'm doing really well.  Taking my pain pills and anti-biotics (to keep infection away) and just taking it easy for the next week.  But, I must say....THIS surgery was a "piece of cake"!  I have to stay bandaged up for 24 hours, so I haven't gotten a good look at "them" yet and must admit the curiosity is killing me...lol!  I can already tell they are perky though....lol!   I figure I can unbandage myself by 10:30 tomorrow morning and get a good look!  Dr. Jackson said I'd be pleased!  :=)   I can even shower tomorrow...yay!  Now I get to go shopping for a bra!!!!

So, all is good and I thank you for you prayers.  God has been so good to me. 

Until next time.....I wish you all a good day!  And get those mammograms scheduled...lol (yeah, I'm like a boil on the butt...lol).

Cindy

UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!!

Today I finally get these tissue expanders removed....yay!  Even though I've kinda got "used" to them, I can always still "feel" them.  Not painful, but can be uncomfortable.  You just always "feel" a hard foreign object inside of you!  I've had these things in me since July 26, so I'm so ready for this exchange!!!  They are hard and un-natural looking....one is considerably larger and higher than the other (it even wants to poke up above some tops I wear...lol...so I have to be careful what I wear!).  Dr. Jackson has assured me that he will fix that and make them match and tells me I'll be pleased....and I trust him!  :=)

Today I get them replaced with my permanent, soft, silicone implants...yay!  I must admit...I can't wait to see what they will look like (and I'm not a vain person, but this is such a change to my body).  The reconstruction has been such a long journey......barely over 4 months.....but I don't regret it and am so happy to finally be looking at the "prize" today!  :=)  I came really close to NOT doing this!  I could have had my masectomy back in July and healed and been done....except for follow-up check-ups with my surgeon and oncologist.  And I would have been fine with that.  And I'll admit that there were times I wondered..."oh why, oh why did I do this!"...lol!  But, that was in the earlier days.  It isn't particularly easy, but it does get better.

And now, once again, I'm going under general anethesia and the knife.  I tell them they can do anything they want...as long as they put me to sleep.  lol!  I do not expect this surgery to be anything like the last one.  I expect to be sore, of course, but I do not expect to be "down" like I was with the masectomy.  I expect the healing time to be much shorter.  I have my two cancer sisters (hi Carin and Amy!), who have gone through this ahead of me, telling me that it will be instant relief!  I can't wait!  So, I can honestly say that this is one surgery I'm looking forward to!

It is outpatient surgery, so once I get awake and am ready to come home, I'll be set free!  I've come a long way baby!!!!  I'll be a new woman...lol!

Until next time....prayers are accepted and appreciated!  Thanks!

Cindy