But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as Eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Thursday, October 20, 2011


Chemo brain...it kinda scares me!  But, sometimes I just have to laugh at myself and the things I forget or say!  I met my "cancer sisters" (Amy and Carin) for lunch yesterday in Greenwood.  My good buddy, Linda Morrow, drove up with me (I'm glad she drove, as I had two sleepless nights in a row and was rather tired).  Anyway, as we were traveling up I-65 I told her my funny story from Monday....only one other person knew this story...Linda Curd, who I had lunch with on Monday!  It's a story I was reserving for my closest friends...lol...kinda embarrassing, ya know!  She laughed with me and said, "oh, you have to put that on your blog"....uh, I don't think so!  LOL!

Then at lunch yesterday, when the subject of chemo brain came up, Linda started laughing and said I just had to tell Amy and Carin "my story".  So, I broke down and told them....I figured, "ok, they're my cancer sisters....surely they'll still love me...lol".  Well, then they were all urging me to tell "my story" on my blog.  Argghhhh!  I resisted because it's a bit embarrassing and I don't want you all to think that everything about me is fake!  But, hey, laughter is good for the soul, so if it gives you your laugh for the day...or maybe some of you will even identify with it....then all is good.  And if it runs some of you off (LOL), well, maybe you didn't like me anyways...hehe!  But those who stick around will now be considered my "closest friends" because this story is only reserved for "closest friends"...lol!

Ok, here goes "my story"!  I was to meet Linda Curd at the Edinburgh Cracker Barrel at noon Monday...hadn't seen her in 8 years and was so excited and didn't want to be late (which is in my nature...not horribly late, but no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get out the door early).  Anyway, I was rushing around trying to get everything done, after sleeping too late....got my make up on, clothes on, shoes on, supper in the crock pot, paid a bill online, brushed and curled my hair (lol, ok joking about that one).....ok, that's it, I think I'm ready to roll!  I was so proud that I accomplished all that I needed to do that morning and it didn't look like I'd be more than 5 or 10 minutes late.  Awesome!!!  Ok, so I'm be-bopping down the interstate jamming to my music that was blaring and am almost to Columbus, which is 20 miles into my trip and just below Edinburgh...not much further to go!  And then I realized what I forgot!!!!  At first I was mortified and in a panic....what am I going to do???  Then I started arguing with myself..."I've got to go back.  No, you're almost there...you don't have time to go back....ok, maybe she won't notice!"  Now, you've heard the saying, "I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached."....well, let's just say I'm sure glad my head is attached at this point in my life!  LOL!  But I did manage to forget something that wasn't attached.....my bottom teeth!!!  There, I said it!!!  LOL! 

Now, get up up off of that floor and wipe those laughing tears away and pull yourself together.  Yes, I have false teeth, fake boobs, and a boy haircut (hey at least the hair is real now!).  LOL!  Now, I'm not proud of having false teeth, but anyone who knows me knows I didn't have good teeth and I finally gave up on the expense of trying to fix them.  Besides, I'm getting old (almost 60, ya know)...lol...and although I would love to say I have my real teeth, it wasn't meant to be!  Now, let me assure you that other than my boobs and my teeth, everything else about me is REAL!

Ok, you've had your laugh now!  And after arguing with myself in the car, I finally just started laughing.  Here I was driving down that interstate laughing out loud at myself!  I even looked in the rear view mirror and smiled to see if you could tell it!  Nope, you don't see my bottom teeth when I smile...good!  And there was no indented place that showed...I'm good for pics!....because there was no way I wasn't getting my pic with Linda after 8 years! 

See, you can't even tell, can you?  If I didn't tell on myself, no one would have known.  But, some stories just need to be shared...lol!

 I knew I'd confess my lack of bottom teeth to Linda.....(I just didn't know at the time that I'd be confessing it to the whole world!).   I first made her try to guess what I forgot that wasn't attached.  She couldn't guess...good!.... then that probably means the waitress can't tell either!  I was self conscious, but after awhile I totally forgot about it.  Linda and I had a good laugh about it all and sat and visited for the next 5 hours!  Thank God I was at Cracker Barrel where they had soft food like meatloaf and mashed potatoes...lol!  Well, that's "my story"!

Like I said earlier, the chemo brain scares me sometimes. Besides forgetting my teeth (first time ever, by the way), I've left 2 ATM cards in the machine since I began chemo (never did that before either!), I walked out of the bathroom this morning forgetting to shut the water off (didn't take long for me to realize it), I jumble up words or call people by the wrong name.  And sometimes I just feel a "little fuzzy".   Now don't get me wrong, I'm still very functional and this isn't a 24/7 thing.  But, I'd rather have a physical problem than a brain problem....the brain scares me.  And with that being one of the areas breast cancer can spread to, it scares me even more.  But, I'm sure it's just the treatments and it's only been 4 months since they ended and I've read that the chemo brain thing can last up to two years.  So, I'm sure that's what it is.  Plus, I've had a couple of sleepless nights this week, so that can't help!  Slept pretty good last night, so all is good!

Ok, so yesterday I met my "cancer sisters" for lunch at the Olive Garden in Greenwood.  It was wonderful to see them again!

Yes, dang it, I have the same outfit on...I guess I forgot what I wore on Monday...lol....yes, I'm a dweeb!  Hey, it was clean, so that makes it ok, right?  I'm more concerned that I forgot to put my earrings in....egads!

If you've read my entire blog, you might remember that I met Amy (in the middle) and Carin (on the right) at the "Look Good, Feel Better" progam up at Greenwood.  We hadn't seen each other since then, but became friends on facebook and have followed each other's treatments and progress.  We knew we'd see each other again, but it's been hard to get together between the chemos and surgeries.  We had to wait until we were all done with that and we'd all feel better at the same time...lol!  Yay, Carin and I have the chemo done and we all have our major surgeries done.  We finally all felt good at the same time and could meet!

Even though this was the first time we actually got to sit down and REALLY TALK, it was like we were forever friends.  We were so connected because we knew what each had gone through.  We understood....it was like we were in a "support group".  One of us would mention something and the other would say, "Me too...I wondered if that was normal".  It was great to find out it was!  We were able to encourage each other that things were normal and share out fears, knowing the other understood those fears.  I don't let fears take over....but they are always there.  We were just so connected....so bonded!  I love my "cancer sisters"....even though I'm old enough to be their moms, they don't treat me like I'm an "old lady"....LOL! 

Cancer sisters plus one....my dear friend Linda.  She's an "honory sister"....we don't really want her to be a full fledged member of our club.  Bless her heart, she surprised us by buying our dinner.  Thanks so much Linda!   Linda is such an awesome person!  I love her for many reasons, but one particular reason stood out yesterday.  I loved her yesterday because she said I was skinny!!!  LOL....hey, do you know how long it's been since someone said I was skinny?  I coulda just kissed her right then and there, but we were in the doctor's office surrounded by other people.  I've lost 50 pounds and am so hoping to keep it off....I feel much better with it off.  I'm kinda stuck there....not losing any more....but at least it's staying stable and so far I haven't gained any back!  That excites me, especially since I'm eating more now and trying all of those awesome new crock pot recipes!

Now, here's some food that won't make me fat!
Look what Amy surprised me and Carin with!  Thank you so much Amy!  I can't wait to dig into it!  We weren't able to have a "five hour lunch" (probably could have talked that long!)....I had to get over to the doctor to get my port flushed and Amy needed to be somewhere to pick up her daughter.  So, big hugs all around and we parted, but we vowed to do this on a regular basis!  Love ya dear "cancer sisters" and am already looking forward to the next time!  They all 3 kept me busy and laughing and gave me support on a day that would have been harder for me....the 10 year anniversary of my dad's passing.  It was a good day!

Until next time....learn to laugh at yourself!  Don't be too serious!  And treasure those relationships that God brings to you.  I have met some amazing women because of this journey I had to take and they have enriched my life.  Even bad news can bring you great blessings....I never would have met Amy and Carin if it weren't for the cancer.  Find good in anything....even the bad....it's there! 

1 comment:

  1. Cindy, this is a great story!! I'm glad you shared it. And...you cannot tell from the picture, so I'm sure the waitress was not aware of it either. :o) :o)